You Still Love Her
by ColdCoffeee
Summary: What if Emily is still in love with Alison? And what if Paige figured it out before Emily does? Is it finally over for them? Set after the She's Come Undone (4x21) episode. Mostly Paily.
1. She loves me, she loves me not?

What if Emily is still in love with Alison? And what if Paige figured it out before Emily does? Is it finally over for them? Set after the She's Come Undone (4x21) episode.

You Still Love Her – Chapter 1

**Author's note: This is my first time writing. I have this idea that I can't shake off. I can't stand how Paige keeps trying for Emily, going through 4 seasons of following Emily around like a lost puppy. And when they're finally together, Emily takes her for granted. Sure, Paige is a little bit crazy. Love makes people do crazy things. But Alison is kinda crazy too. And Emily is crazy for not trusting Paige. Yeah, my story is crazy. I don't know if I'd continue. Do tell me if it's any good. I'd appreciate any comments, good or bad, as this is my very first story.**

**Paige's POV**

"You still love her."

Emily's silence just convinced Paige of her terrifying doubts.

"You do. I should have known. We're over, Emily. I am crazy head over heels madly in love with you. I'd do anything for you. I'd die for you. I'd do anything to keep you safe. And now I'll let you go, because I'd do anything to make you happy too. I'm sorry I ratted Alison out. I did it because I didn't want you hurt. But clearly that backfired." Paige didn't realize the hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

She didn't want Emily to see her weak. She doesn't want to feel this weak. It feels as if she's breaking her own heart. All over again. Once again. She knows there's no room for her in Emily's life. It's Alison. It's always Alison. Alison will win. And this time, she'll be the better person. As long as Emily is happy, she'd do the right thing. She can't stand the silence between them. She can't stand the tension and the way they fight over Alison. She can't stand not being the one Emily run to. She can't stand Emily not wanting her protection. She can't stand being in a relationship where Emily can't actually love her. She knows she's too much to handle. And the silence is killing her. The broken heart make her feels like she might actually die. She can't stand any of it and eye her escape, making her way out hastily.

"Paige, wait" Emily rested her palms on Paige wrist trying to form words she don't know.

"No, Emily. I can't. I can't anymore. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I'm never enough for you, and I'm too much for you. I really am. Goodbye Em." she didn't know what made her step forward and lean into Emily. Perhaps because it might be her last chance. One last time. She pecked Emily wet cheeks before walking away.

**Emily's POV**

Emily felt her legs finally give up on her. She didn't know what had come over her. Why didn't she say anything to stop Paige? Why didn't she go after Paige? Why didn't she do anything at all? She was angry, mad, frustrated. How could Paige just walk away from her? After all they've been through? How could Paige walk away when she had been Emily's rock this whole time? When she was the one who healed her broken heart? How could Paige be the one to break her heart now? She never wanted to admit it, but deep in her heart, she had always known that Paige loved her a little more than she ever could. She was Paige's first. First love. First kiss. First girlfriend. First everything. While her firsts was never Paige. She knows how important first are. She knows how attached you are to your firsts. So how could she leave? How could she be the one walking away? And mostly why did Emily let her?

Did she really still hold feelings for Alison? The Alison that kissed her and toyed with her feelings? Did she really love Alison that much that she could forget all the pain Alison put her through? That's the hardest part being gay. You never know how much or how far your love is. She can't understand her feelings. And mostly she can't understand Paige. She didn't even give her a choice. She didn't even let Emily choose. Was it to save Emily or herself from the pain? Did Paige really think so little of their relationship? Did Paige really think that given a choice, Emily would undoubtly choose Alison? Would she actually choose Alison? The Alison that never once gave her the time of the day? She probably would. Alison was intoxicating. The same way Maya was. They are both so strong and bold. Her first two were attractive in a way Paige never was. Alison was independent, she never needed anyone. She never had a weak moment. Maya dominated their relationship the whole time. She pushed Emily into realizing her sexuality. They are both so bold and dominant in a way Paige never was. Maybe she is actually in love with Alison. Perhaps Paige was doing her a favor. Perhaps this is the happy ever after she was aiming for. Maybe this is fate. And her destiny is Alison. Maybe that's why Paige and her just seems so off no matter how much she cared for the brunette. If it really is so, then why does it hurt so much?

"Hey superstar! Em, hey, what happened? Why are you crying?" Alison asked, her eyes twinkled with genuine worry.

"She broke up with me" Emily's voice barely a whisper.

"Oh, honey" Alison hugged her.

"She never deserved you anyways. You're way too good for her"

Alison let her kiss her once. Emily didn't know why she thought this was the right time or why she'd let Emily kissed her again. But Emily leaned in for a kiss. Alison didn't reciprocate the kiss and Emily pulled back. Shit. This is gonna be weird. But just as she pulled away. Alison lean in and capture her lips. They kissed in a steady rhythm till Alison pushed her tongue, begging entrance. They fought for dominance and Alison moaned in return.

"Emilyyyyyy? Are you home?" the kissing girls pulled apart at the sounds of Pam's voice.

"Wow." Alison whispered shyly.

"Wow indeed" Emily smirked

_Dear diary,_

_Today Paige broke up with Emily. I was so mad when Emily told me. I wanted to hunt Paige down, slice her stupid pigskin skin and burn her house down. But then she kissed me! Emily kissed me! And the kiss was mindblowing. Like oh my god I know how I just liked the attention back then. But this is Emily we're talking about. She can turn any girl into a ladylover. Have you even looked at her? I mean she got waaaaaaaay hotter. My sweet Emily. You made a huge mistake, Pigskin. And now Emily will be mine. What a loser._

_Xoxo,_

_Alison_


	2. I kissed Ali

You Still Love Her – Chapter 2

**Author's note: Thank you to those who reviewed. I really do appreciate it. Initially I didn't know whether to continue, but your kind words motivate me. Honestly, I didn't want to give this up and wanted you all to find out in coming chapters. But I don't think it's fair for me to lead the Emison shippers on and waste their time reading this fic only to be disappointed. The main focus of this story would be Paily. The reason I started this fic was to justify Paige. I actually really do like Emison but the idea planted in my head won't go away and I'll stick to it for now. I really do apologize to all Emison shippers for disappointing you all. I might attempt an Emison fic someday, but it just wouldn't be this one. And again, thanks for the reviews. Please continue, I'd like it very much. **

**Paige POV**

I don't know what came over me. I never saw myself breaking up with Emily. Ever. I mean sure I've thought that maybe we might not last forever after all. But I've always thought that the day we broke up, it'd be Emily's decision. And I would let her go. Because I love her that much. I'd give the world for her. I surprised myself today.

_Flashback_

"_Spencer, I apologize. I am truly sorry. I just am tired of all the games. I don't want Emily hurt. I don't want any of you hurt. You know that right? That I never meant to betray you? Sure, I never cared much for you all in the beginning but right now you all are my bestest friends. I never want to see any of you hurt. And Alison being back isn't good news. Especially not when you know about it and keep it. I just can't. With A and Alison and I'm just so tired of all this fuckery. I'm so sorry." Paige was rambling and she knew that. But she loved these girls like family. She knew she messed up by telling the cops but she can't bring herself to be sorry for her actions. Truthfully, she's only sorry they didn't understand her true intentions._

"_Please don't hate me" Paige pleaded._

"_I understand."_

"_WHAT?"_

"_I said I understand"_

"_That's all you're going to say? You're not gonna go into Hastings mode and threatened to kick my ass or something equally frightening?" Paige asked in absolute surprise._

"_I understand, Paige. I understand why you did it." Spencer sighed._

_Paige had a look of disbelief. Spencer, out of all people, isn't mad at her 'betrayal'. Wow._

"_Don't look so shock. We all did. Perhaps at different times. But we all had those moments where we wanted to tell the cops what was happening. It's just that between the four of us, we are never able to without having to bypass one another. And that was the main reason, we never did. I had wanted to go to the cops at least a billion times now. But then there's always "it's too dangerous" and it's not only for us. Everyone is at stake. And we could never bring ourselves. Hanna's mum. Caleb's mum. Melissa. Toby. Mr Fitz. Each other. We just didn't have that option. But you did. And I understand why you did it. It was to protect us. It's perfectly understandable. You didn't have anyone to stop you. You didn't have other thoughts. The main thing was our safety. I understand."_

_Paige smiled, glad that one apology was accepted. She just had three more girls to go. _

And she did, she went to Emily house. They argued and Paige simply couldn't understand why Emily was being so difficult. Emily is so difficult sometimes. She tries her best, put Emily first but Emily never seems to understand. She always tried to make Emily understand that she was the world, trying to make up for Alison. Wanting Emily to know that Alison was wrong to have ever led her on or toyed with her feelings. Paige wanted Emily to know that she was special and make sure Emily never felt that way again. Toyed by Alison. And it hit her. Alison. Alison was back. The same Alison who was Emily's first love. The same Alison who was her first kiss. The same Alison that Emily could fall for despite her horrible horrible personality. Alison. Emily still loves Alison. And she did the unthinkable. She let Emily go.

"Goodbye Em"

She let Emily go within seconds of figuring it out. That must be a record time or something. Paige was never this reckless. She always thought things through. She was never emotional. But if it's true, if Emily loves Alison. She didn't want to be there to see it. She didn't want to experience the pain of Emily choosing Alison over her. She wouldn't be able to bear it. It'd too much. Especially after everything with Nate and A. She doubt she'd be able to handle losing Emily to Alison out of all the crappy things that could have happened instead. And she left.

**Emily's POV**

"I kissed Alison" Emily said it out loud for the first time.

"YOU DID WHAT? EMILY, YOU'RE WITH PAIGE! THAT'S CHEATING" Hanna exclaimed

"Actually we broke up" Hanna took out a twenty dollar note and hand it to Emily

Emily looks puzzled.

"Hanna wanted to bet us that you two would get married and have a wedding cake from space when she saw you in the Halloween train. But we wouldn't bet so she bet alone because she ship Paily too much"

"Paily?" Emily looked at her tiny friend.

"Paige plus Emily. Paily. That's your ship name." Hanna explained simply.

"Now we have a ship. Ok whatever Hanna." Emily wasn't in the mood for Hanna's ridiculousness now.

"I'm sorry, Em. What happened?" Hanna asked, sympathetic and a little guilt ridden.

"She broke up with me, said I was in love with Alison."

"What? Alison? Is she crazy?" Hanna exclaimed

"Well.. Are you?" Aria eyed Emily suspiciously

Emily sighed, "I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. My first crush rose from the dead. My dead girlfriend's cousin is a stalker who tried to kill my ex-girlfriend. And now my girlfriend became my ex-girlfriend because she thinks I'm in love with my supposedly dead best friend. And that supposedly dead best friend who's also straight kissed me. What the fuck am I suppose to be sure of anymore? That's an awfully long list of dead and ex."

Emily's heart ache for her long explaination. She's suddenly exhausted by all the drama. "I think I'm leaving. Thanks for my consolation prize. I guess?" Emily stood up and took the 20 bucks Hanna had handed her.

**General POV**

Aria and Hanna was at Spencer's barn, and the girls were telling Spencer the reason for Emily's breakup.

"Hanna, you're ridiculous" scolded Spencer.

"What? I made a bet. I lost so I paid up" Hanna stated as a matter of factly

"So you're telling me that Paige broke up with Emily because of Alison?" Spencer looked at Aria. "How in the world did that happen when Emily was the one mad at her?"

"PaigethinksEmilyisinlovewithAlison" Hanna mumbled whispered the words nobody wants to hear.

Spencer looked puzzled and look questioningly at the two girls. "Paige thinks Emily is in love with Alison" Aria sighed the words.

"WHAT?" Spencer was utterly shock. This is crazy. Alison is driving everyone crazy

"THIS IS RIDICULOUS! FIRST SHE ROSE FROM THE DEAD AFTER 2 YEARS! MESS WITH OUR FRIENDSHIP AND THEN EMILY'S RELATIONSHIP? WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IT? WHY IS SHE STILL MESSING WITH US? WHY ARE WE LETTING HER. GUYS THIS IS ALISON, ALISON, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!" Spencer overcome by sudden rage.

"Do you want your whole family to hear that Spence?" Hanna tried to shut her best friend up.

"Shit" Spencer realized what made Paige broke up with Emily.

"What? What Spencer?" Aria asked, puzzled by the sudden change of mood

"Emily is in love with Alison. Why else would she put everything at stake for Alison if she isn't in love with Alison? She put Alison first. On top of me, on top of you, and on top of Paige. Shit"

"Noooooo. But I liked Paily!" Hanna whines. "Paily over Emison anyday"

"Hanna! You know this is not some stupid soap opera right? This is our friend's life!" Spencer's anger rise with Hanna comments. "I need to go"

"But Spence, you were going to help me with my homework" Hanna whines again

"Ask Aria, I need to see Paige" Spencer waste no time leaving her barn.

"And she ditches her friends, I do not approve of McHastings" Hanna said bluntly

"Shut up, Hanna" scolded Aria.


	3. She's a storm

You Still Love Her – Chapter 3

**Author's Note: I gotta be honest, I'm kinda losing my muse. I initially didn't want to involve A in the story but I don't know. I feel like this story is getting too boring to write. Is it? But then again, I don't really know how to write about A either. Should I include A? This chapter is mostly about Emily and Paige finally talking about the break-up. Not to each other of course, but to their friends. There's a lot of unsolved feelings and words left unsaid. It's frustrating honestly, but I need them to be that annoying for now. It's a slow and difficult process for them. They're heartbroken, devastated and confused. I'm not a sadist but I want it to hurt. Coz if you don't hurt, you don't care. Right? **

**Emily's POV**

I told Hanna and Aria about the kiss and it didn't help at all. Clearly, they are my bestest friends ever. But it never helps to talk about Paige with them. It's like their friendship with Paige was never based from my relationship. Talking to them about Paige doesn't give me any insights to what she's thinking. Sometimes I feel as though my friends aren't on my side at all. Sometimes, however, I feel as though they don't know Paige at all. I don't know, it's just all so messed up and I really need to talk. And all I got is this Andrew Jackson. What do you know about my love life, Jackson? Stupid history test.

"EMILY!"

Emily was so stuck deep in her head that she got a major shock from Toby screaming behind her.

"What the hell, Tobs?" Emily asked annoyed but gave him a hug anyways.

Toby looked at Emily weird and picked up the twenty dollar note Emily didn't even realized she dropped.

"Hey, I'm just gonna get coffee and head upstairs. Come with?" Emily was ready to protest but Toby was quicker, "I'm not taking no for an answer. At the rate you're staring at that loser, there's no way you're studying anyways"

**General POV**

*on the phone*

"Hey Paige, I need caffeine, come to the brew with me?" Spencer asked casually

"I don't know, Spence. I'm too lazy to go out."

"Come on, pleaseeeeeeee. You owe me for that history last week. Just accompany me for awhile?" Spencer begged.

"Fine."

**Emily's POV**

"Emmmmmmmmm" Toby waves his hands in front of Emily "Come on, what's wrong? Talk to me!"

"Huh? What? What makes you think anything is wrong? I'm just tired." Emily answered.

"I know you, Em"

"Paige broke up with me"

"WHAT?"

"And I kissed Alison"

"WHAAAAAAAT? How could you do that to Paige? Emilyyyyyyyyyy, she's like the best girl you ever dated! Why would you ruin it like that?" Toby asked.

"She broke up with me Toby. I didn't do anything to ruin in. SHE BROKE UP WITH ME" Emily didn't realized she was crying but tears were pouring out of her eyes like a waterfall.

"Hey, I'm sorry, shhhhh. It's going to be ok"

Emily didn't believe Toby. She didn't know how could anything ever be ok. She's crying so hard now and Toby arms are they only thing keeping her from falling apart. She don't know why she's crying. She don't know if she's sad or angry. She feels numb. She can't feel.

**Paige's POV**

"Two red eye please and a blueberry muffin" Spencer ordered for them.

"So… We haven't talked in awhile" Spencer began.

"Cut the crap, Spence. We both know you have questions, just ask" Paige isn't in the mood for small talk. Truth is, she isn't in the mood for talking at all.

"Ok, first question, are you okay?" Spencer asked as she looked Paige directly in the eyes.

Paige continued to stare at the floor.

"I take that as a no, so why did you do it? Spencer asked again.

"I'm not enough for her Spence, she's not happy."

"What? You're being ridiculous. She's the happiest she had ever been when she's with you"

"No, Spencer. She's not happy. She seems happy but we keep getting into these fights. And she keeps snapping at me. I can't do anything right. If I'm worried, she's mad. If I messing with her, she thinks I'm immature. I try to do all this stupid things to make her happy but it always backfires. I can't win, Spencer. And now I know why."

"Why?"

"Please don't make me say it. It's one thing to break your own heart, it's another to break pieces of what's leftover again and again." Alison. It's always Alison.

"Ok, I'm sorry. You know I'm always here right? If you ever need me, this doesn't change things." Spencer looks at her pitifully.

She wanted to scream. Stop looking at me like I'm made of glass. She wanted to cry. Why is this happening to me? But she know nothing will change the facts. Emily isn't hers anymore. "I know"

"And for the record, I think you're mistaken. Emily did love you"

Paige wants to believe her. Paige does believe Spencer, but it still wasn't enough."I know, but not enough"

**Emily's POV**

"She broke up with me because she thinks I'm in love with Alison. I didn't cheat on her Toby. I didn't do anything. But she still broke up with me. And the worse thing was that I didn't stop her. I don't know why I didn't stop her. Maybe I'm in love with Alison? A part of me thinks that I just… I just don't know how to feel anymore. Like I can't function properly. It's like I'm made to not love, never love. Love is just some deadly curse. Some cruel game. And I felt relieved. I don't know why I felt relieved, but I did. Maybe, if we're not together then it's ok. Things are better this way. She's safe. No A, no Alison. No one can hurt her."

"Oh Em" Toby didn't know what to say. He knew how it felt to give up on love altogether. For a long time, he was questioning himself. With Jenna, with Alison, with Spencer. He was on the A team to get back at Alison. But falling in love with the younger Hastings wasn't part of the plan. He knew he was betraying her but eventually they managed to move past that. And he knew he couldn't be any luckier.

They stayed quiet like that for awhile, Toby just holding her. Eventually Emily stopped crying, and pulled away.

"You love Paige, Em" Toby said as a matter of factly rather than a question.

"Of course, I do. She had been my rock all these while. After Maya. After A. After the lighthouse and the website. She has been with me through it all. And I guess I just got used to it. I never thought about what if she's no longer here. It feels like a hole in my heart. Like something's missing. And I can't tell why or how did it happen. But I know only Paige can fill that part of me."

"Then go get your girl back." Toby said simply

"But how?"

**Paige's POV**

"It's on the house, it saddens me to see sucha pretty face frowning on this lovely night"

"Thanks, I just broke up with my girlfriend" Paige looked to the bartender. She was quite a beauty. Not beautiful in the same way Emily was but she still is pretty.

"Well, I'm sure she'll miss you a lot. You're crazy beautiful" the bartender winked at Paige. It reminded Paige of how Emily liked to wink after giving her a compliment. It's getting on her nerves how Emily seems to appear everywhere and at any instance.

**Spencer's POV**

"So…?" Hanna asked expectantly

"So what, Han?"

"How was your talk with the other half of Paily?"

"Fine"

"Aren't you gonna share the deets?"

"Deets? Where do you come up with these ridiculous words, Han?"

"Hey, it just shows that I can be creative. Soo…?"

"Han, I wasn't there to interrogate Paige. I was being a friend. There's nothing to tell. She's pretty upset but that's a given knowledge" Spencer was still annoyed at Hanna. She doesn't know why. But she feels annoyed that Hanna is taking Alison's comeback so calmly. She wanted someone to agree with her. Feel the same way as her. But no one seems to care. Why everyone is so glad Alison is alive is way beyond her. Alison was a terrible person, and a terrible friend. She played Emily, she messed with Toby and she hurt Paige. Alison hurt a lot of people. And people seemed to forget that when she died. And everyone is forgetting it again now that she's back from the dead. Dying didn't make her an angel. And surviving didn't make her change for the better. Alison hurt too many people. They're in this mess because of Alison. A was out to get them because of Alison. A made their life a living hell because of Alison. Nothing good ever came from befriending Alison. And she wants to regret but she can't. The friends she loved dearly were because of Alison. Sometimes she wondered how it would be like if she didn't met Alison. What if she met Hanna, Aria, Emily, Paige and Toby on her own. Would they still be the way they are now?

"I sooooo do not approve of McHastings" Hanna mumbled to no one herself.

**Paige's POV **

"No more scotchy, you're wayyyy drunk. Can I call someone to come pick you up?"

"Emily" Paige mumbled looking at the beautiful face in front of her. Nope, this girl is blonde. She's not Emily. Emily is not here, Emily is no longer hers.

"Hey Emily? Yeah this girl is drunk and we're closing up. Can you come get her?" the bartender spoke into Paige's phone.

"You're pretty" Paige mumbled out to the bartender.

"And you're drunk. Come on scotchy, stay up. Don't pass out on me" Paige listened to her and tried to keep her head up. But everything was spinning. She tried keeping her eyes open, but it was too hard so she just decided to count instead to keep herself awake. One. Two. Three. Three. Three. Four?

"Damn it, P, come on. I'm taking you home." the voice jolt Paige from her seat on the bar

Emily? Shit that sounds like Emily. Paige turned around only to be grabbed by a tall brunette "Em? What are you doing here?"

"Taking you home" she didn't realize she was no longer on the chair or that Emily's palms were holding her up firmly. What? Take me home? I can't go home with her.

"But I wanna stay here." And drink. Drink you away, Em. I'm pretty sure you'd disappear if I'm drunker.

"Paige" Don't say my name. It sounds so good from your lips.

Paige suddenly noticed the beauty standing in front of her. Oh yeahh, the pretty bartender. She's still here? "Em, tell the girl she's pretty. She doesn't believe me" Just the way you never believe me, Em.

**Emily's POV**

"Probably not your best words tonight scotchy, you'd be in trouble later" the blonde girl smirked.

Emily felt sudden rage surging in her veins. Who is this girl? Well, yeah she's pretty. But Emily doesn't like her attitude. She gives off such a cocky vibe.

"P, let's go."

"No, Emily. Go back to Alison, I don't want to go with you" Alison. Maybe I should. I never have to take care of a drunk Alison ever. But then she's perfect. You're real. You're Paige. Fuck. What is wrong with me? Is there even a comparison? Comparing Alison and Paige is like comparing the sun and rain. Emily just can't decide if she prefers the sun or the rain. Coz Alison is bright and she makes you feel like the world belongs to you. But Paige, however, Paige is like a storm. She makes Emily yearn something she never did before with her past lovers. Paige is like a storm. And everytime she dances in the rain, Emily realized that it's not so bad. Emily was thrown out her thoughts by the bartender's movement.

"I'd help you" cocky ass said walking out of the bar and standing on Paige's other side, grabbing Paige's arm. Who does this bitch think she is?

"No I don't want to go with her." Paige whined like a little child

"Scotchy"

"No! No I don't want to go with you Emily. You're the love of my life. And I'm trying to do the right thing. Let you go, be happy. So just leave me alone. I can't be near you and not want you. I want you so much. I love you so much. And it hurts so bad having to let you go. Please. Please, just please"

**Author's note: I always get annoyed when it's raining and I need to go out. But some days I ignore it and just walk in the rain, it makes me feel alive. Anyone else feels that way? Or am I just weird? That's what I'm trying to describe when I say Paige is a storm. I imagine myself meeting a storm someday and loving every second of rain with them. Haha sorry for being so cheesy. **


	4. She's Gone

**Author's Note: This is the second part of the story. I apologize for this super late update. My com was down and I lost the draft I made for this story. This isn't a great chapter but it's the best I could offer at the moment. I've learnt my lesson and will from now onwards save my story. Hope you all aren't too pissed with me. Or Paige for totally losing her shit in this chapter. Enjoy!**

"Shit"

Shit indeed. Her head is pounding. And the brightness of the sun hurts her eyes. Why did she do this to herself? Paige was never a good drinker. She always ends up with worst hangover ever. She pushed the blanket off. Oh shit. No. What the fuck did she do last night? She's butt naked. In a room that isn't her own. The room belongs to… Oh fuck.

"Paige… Hey you're awake" oh fuck is right

"Emily? What happened?" Emily is wearing the Sharks hoodie Paige left in her room, the first time they were intimate. No. Fuck no. Fuck your life, Paige. Fuck you, you're a freaking idiot.

"Wait. No. No. Don't tell me what happen. I don't want to know." Paige cut Emily before she could say anything.

"Paige, calm down" Emily's attempt to keep Paige calm went unheard.

Paige has already dressed herself and is making her way to bolt from Emily's room.

"Paige, listen to me"

She can't move. Why can't she move? Emily. Emily no, please. Just no. Her wrist was firmly holding on to Paige's right arm, preventing Paige from leaving.

"No, Emily! No! This doesn't change anything"

"Please, Paige. Just hear me out" Emily pleads. And for a moment, Paige consider stopping. Just for a moment. Before she realize that whatever Emily has to say won't change anything. Alison is back. She can't win. Emily isn't hers anymore. There's nothing Emily could say that could make her life any better. Or any worse. She lost the girl. The one she loved more than anything in the world. To Alison. The 'dead' bitch. There's nothing left to say.

"NO! NO EMILY PLEASE JUST STOP. NO. NO MORE. NOTHING MORE" Paige managed to free herself from Emily's hold and sprinted out of the Fields' residence.

Stupid stupid stupid. Paige why in the world are you so stupid? One day. Just one day and you already end up in her bed. Oh Emily. You'd be the death of me. Paige didn't realize she was sobbing. No. No more. This ends here.

II

"Sir, I'm here to see Paige. Is she in?"

"Err Emily…"

"I know that she might not want to see me, but please. Can you just tell her I'm here?"

"Emily, Paige is not in. She's gone."

"What? Gone? What you mean gone?"

"She's on a plane to Thailand as we speak"

"Thailand? WHAT? WHY WOULD PAIGE BE IN THAILAND? " Emily practically screamed "I'm sorry, sir. I'm just surprised. What business does Paige have in Thailand?"

"None. She have no business there. I'm wondering myself why she'd make a decision so suddenly. Why don't you come in, Emily?"

"She wanted to join her cousin. Backpacking and all those finding yourself bullshit. Honestly I don't buy it. She's already contented, I don't know what on Earth does she want to find out more about herself. God forbid, she's turning into some rebel teenager and wants to go partying there. Stamford wouldn't approve if she decides to fool around and throw this scholarship down the drain" Mr McCullers was an open book, he speaks his mind. Emily have learnt that during the time she dates his daughter.

"Best part about this plan of hers, she just decided to book a ticket this afternoon. No discussion, no thinking it over and she's gone. That girl! Always so unpredictable. I don't know what has gotten into her" Mrs McCullers chimes in.

Emily can't breathe. She feels hot suddenly. Paige is gone. And she's not coming back. Till graduation. Surely, she'd be back for graduation? That's in 3 weeks. Anything can happen in 3 weeks. Fuck your life. Why Emily? Why did you have to ruin everything? Toby said win her back. Win. Her. Back. Not push her 8000 or whatever million-miles-it-feels-like-away. Oh god.

"She's not coming back, Em. Surely, she told you right?" Mrs McCullers asked curious about the situation.

"No, no she didn't."

"That girl! So selfish. What kinda girlfriend does that? I'm gonna have a word with her tomorrow!" in the time Emily dated Paige, Mrs McCullers have treated her like her own daughter.

"Actually ma'am, we broke up" Emily confessed.

"What? When?" Mrs McCullers has a look of disbelief drawn of her face.

"Yesterday"

"Well, that explains. But still, that girl. Just do whatever! I'll yell at her for you."

"No. No maam, it's my fault. I'll figure it out. Did? Did she take her phone?"

"No, no she didn't. It's right here. She said she's getting a new phone and a new number there" Mr McCullers cut in, knowing that his wife wouldn't have the heart to tell Emily that Paige is basically cutting all ties to Rosewood. To Emily.

Damnit Paige. Why are you doing this? Why are you punishing me? I need you. I need to see you. Why are you leaving?

Paige's POV

Emily,

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't be near you. I'm so sorry. Why does it have to come to this? I thought you'd the one I grow old and grey with. I thought we'd be forever. I guess I was wrong. We can't even make it through high school together.

I love you.

Paige

Emily,

I'm sorry, I love you so much it hurts. I need to do this. Even if I want nothing but to hold you in my arms, I need to do this. I'm so sorry about what happened. I'm so sorry I can't remember how I ended up in your room. I'm sorry I have no memory of the night. I hope I didn't hurt you. I hope you know that I never meant to use you. I never saw myself losing that much control. I wish it would have ended differently.

I love you.

Paige

Emily,

I have so much to say to you. So much to ask. Why Alison? Why out of everyone in this world, why does your heart belong to Alison? Why Emily? Why? Why can't you love me? You are my first love. First kiss. First girlfriend. My first. You are my everything. My first everything. I never wanted anyone as much as I want you. I still do. But everything that I felt, that's how you feel about Alison right? Coz she was your first. You loved her first. Before me. Before Maya. How can I compete with that? I can't compete with Alison. If, even just for a bit, I believe that I could fight for your love against Alison, I would die trying. But I know it's Alison. She's the one who got away. The one you can't seem to forget. And if I stay, I'd just be the reason you are unhappy with me. I rather be gone, and let you fight for your love. If Alison is the one for you, the one that could make you happy. Then I'd willingly leave.

I love you so so much

Paige

Emily's POV

"I don't know what to do Tobs. She's gone for over two weeks. She broke up with me and left me here. Alone. Hanging. No closure. No nothing."

"She's hurt."

"And what do you think I feel?"

Toby looked guilty and tried to speak.

"No. No, I'm done. I'm done waiting. We're over. The faster I get that in my head, the better."

_Attachment_

_Well. I have a secret, I know where Paige is. But you gotta work for it darling – A_

So not the time A. I ain't playing your game. Not today, not now. Not with Paige.

_Let's have a picnic. You, me, the kissing rock. Meet me there in 20 (; Alison_

Just what I need. A distraction.

**On my way**


End file.
